I'm Definitely The Bleep.

​So there’s a reason our podcast is called Beauty and The Bleep. And I’m pretty sure it’s not difficult to figure out which one I am. It’s not just that I can curse like a sailor without thinking twice, but it’s also because I’m certainly not what most people think of when they think “Beauty.” 

This has more to do with personality and mindset than physical attributes. First, I’m clumsy as hell and grace has just never been my strong suit. This week I hit myself in the face with the phone receiver at work so hard that I ended up with a bruise under my eye. I don’t even know how that happened. I waddle, I don’t walk. It’s because my thighs need to move around each other with each step. Plus I’m the girl who can trip over her own two feet while stone cold sober. 

Add to it that I’m not a makeup girl. Unless there’s some big event looming in front of me, my make-up routine lasts three minutes, max. I'm not a person who gets up in the morning and does her hair. In fact, I realized on the fourth day of my recent vacation that I hadn’t brushed my hair since the day I arrived. Heck, I'm not even a person who feels the need to shower every single day. For the record I DID shower on vacation, daily. We were in Florida. It was hot and I was sweaty. 

​See, hadn’t brushed my hair. I went looking for my brush before we left and found it buried under all of the cute clothes I brought but never bothered to put on. 

In general though, as long as I look fairly presentable and I don't smell, I’m usually pretty okay with it. 

When Ashley suggested I give eyelash extensions a try, I laughed. “That’s SO not me,” I thought. But she was starting her business and she needed the practice, so I figured she could use my eyelashes as test dummies. No big deal. Then, as I considered it more, I thought about why I’m not a “makeup" girl or a "do my hair" girl. It’s not because I don’t care or because I don’t enjoy how I look once I’m done. Truly, I love feeling pretty. I just don’t love it as much as I love my extra half hour of sleep, my morning meditation routine, or spending time with my favorite men (aka my husband, my dog, and my cat). Typically I just don’t feel like putting the effort in. But when I do, I relish the results. 

So, maybe lash extensions didn’t deserve the eye roll that was my knee jerk reaction. And then she put them on me and I felt like a whole different person. Waking up and looking pretty without having to do anything (and yes, eyelash extensions do have that kind of power) was f***ing amazing. 

​From there, and for the same reason, I had my eyeliner done as well. Again, I loved the results. Now on the days that I don’t feel like thinking about makeup (which is often), I at least look a little more presentable. Plus, that’s an extra 60-90 seconds of sleep I can get!

While the eyebrow trend has grown and grown over the past few years, I’ve sat in my little bubble and wondered what the big deal was all about. I was "blessed" with some pretty bushy eyebrows. Please enjoy this glamor shot circa 1996 as it is the best photo I can find to show off my caterpillars. 

​Due to some recent thyroid issues, some over-plucking issues in college, and probably just age in general, they have thinned out quite a bit since my 20’s; however, I never really considered microblading, even with The Beauty in my life, because in my head I was still the girl who had to control the mess growing above her eyes. 

Then I had a make-up trial for my wedding and the first thing my make-up artist did was fill in my eyebrows. I looked like a whole new person immediately. 

I called Ashley that day and told her I finally understood what she was doing with her life, and that now I knew I needed to have my brows done, too. 

One of the things that I love about my friend, is that she is very realistic. She didn’t just jump right in and start microblading. She insisted that I think about it. As a self-proclaimed eyebrow-ignorer, she wanted to make sure that I’d be comfortable transitioning into the the upkeep required, however minimal it might be (i.e. plucking the areas not tattooed, coming in for my follow up appointment, and eventually touch ups, too). I think she wanted to be sure that my enthusiasm for her semi-permanent technique wasn’t semi-permanent. 

I've spent a few months filling my brows in to confirm that yes, this is something that I actually want to do. At this point I’m pretty obsessed with them - I feel like such a different person when I take the time to pencil them in - and am patiently waiting for my appointment. 

Please, people. Stay tuned because I can’t wait to show you the finished product! Maybe I’ll even have her do my lashes again so I can literally roll out of bed this summer and say “I woke up like this!"